So my friend and I go out to this bar last week. The male bartender is very friendly and knowledgeable about the craft beer. I tell him I am also a bartender and his eyes light up as if I said, “Yes, you can move in with me and I will fix you unlimited bacon while I play with your sausage and wash your dirty underwear and pay off all your student loans.” Trust me, I would NEVER say this, but a lot of girls would and that is why I’m perpetually single (more on that later). So I go home and the next morning I am alerted that I have a new message waiting for me in my okcupid inbox. Oh joy! I bet this is the one time it’s from someone normal who has a good job and is good looking! I mean, what do you think this is, real life?! To my surprise, it’s the bartender from last night. He doesn’t know it’s me. I write back to his brilliant opener “We live pretty close to each other” by replying, “Aren’t you the bartender from the (fill in the blank) bar? I was there last night!” Instead of being intrigued, he writes back, “My first time on a site and right away I get busted!” At first I thought it was some cute joke or adorable admission at getting caught, but he doesn’t reply to my follow up message for four days. When I log back on after day five, I found out he deleted his okcupid account. I think to myself, “This is totally normal behavior for a 31 year old.” But then again this is okcupid and there are different standards for normal versus the real world.