That Girl Who Never Has Time For You (Hashtag Multiple Emoji Smiley With Hearts)

Everyone knows that one girl. That girl who goes to all the cool parties, knows all the coolest people, knows the best places to hang out, and has a great look that all her friends want to emulate:

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Everyone she knows is texting her, messaging her, and commenting on all of her posts just waiting for their chance to hang out with her. There is one caveat: she doesn’t actually have time for you or anyone else.

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It’s true she’s always posting on social media about going out to all the amazing bars, clubs, shows, and parties. She’ll “check in” to all the exclusive velvet-rope hot spots where you and your friends wait outside for hours. She gets right in because she “knows someone.” She’s what is known as a “scene girl” or “Really cool hipster girl with connections” or “uber hipster,” if you must. (I wish you wouldn’t. It gives these girls way more credit than they actually deserve).    Every girl and guy she knows follows her around like a lost puppy, just grateful for the privilege of her expertise in what’s hot right now. She obviously knows better than you do. Her clothes are cuter. Her haircut is more expensive. She is a vegan chef. She plays an instrumet. She is a writer. She is an artist. She has a lip ring. Or maybe she doesn’t. There are varying breeds. Whatever she is, she’s cooler and better than everyone and she lets them know it:

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These girls are what I like to call “Scene Fakers,” or simply, “Fakes” If their friends text them to hang out, the “scene fake” ignores them. Meanwhile that very same night, she’s at a hip LA/SF/NYC bar bumping into the cool kids she knows who also showed up alone just to “bump into” the other socially acceptable scene kids they feel are worthy of them.
This faker will also post on social media: “I’m going to Such-and-Such Bar/Going for a bike ride/Cooking vegan food at my apartment. Who’s down?” All of her Twitter/Instagram/Facebook followers will answer. Hours will go by. Meanwhile she’ll post pics of said activity with the people she met up with. You know, the people who know a lot more about “the scene” than you. People who she feels made the cut.
This “fake” doesn’t actually have real friends. She doesn’t want them. But she does want everyone to know how popular she is because one is simply not popular unless they have the pictures to prove it. Meanwhile, her friends will comment under her social media posts, “How come you never returned my text? I wanted to go bike riding with you” or “Invite me next time you to go to Such-and-Such Bar.” Meanwhile she’s laughing out the sides of her extremely heavy, oversized black framed glasses. She lives life on her own terms, and you as her friend, are lucky enough to get a front row seat on social media to watch. Meanwhile she’ll flake on you and everyone else every chance she gets because there’s always somewhere anywhere else she’d rather and someone else she’d rather be doing it with. She’ll meet up with the person that suits her mood best given the activity and situation. The person who will best help her “be seen.”

I personally don’t know about you guys, but I’ve known at least one girl (or guy) like this since my early 20s. I still know girls pushing 30 who still act like this and trust me, it doesn’t get any more endearing with age. Only more pathetic. Now Miss Fake, the next time you hit up the overpriced vintage store/forever 21/American Apparel/Buffalo Exchange/Urban Outfitters to pick out an outfit to instagram for #ootd, be sure to pick up a personality while you’re at it.

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Just one of those bitches I was talking about (j/k it’s me!)

Sidebar: I can’t post this on facebook because I’ll offend just about every facebook friend I have. Especially the L.A. Based ones (emoji/smiley face).

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This is the time of your life, but you just can’t tell

“When I used to go out, I knew everyone I saw. Now I go out alone if I go out at all.” -The Walkmen “The Rat”

This 2005 indie hit was the soundtrack to a magical window in my life, the glorious coming-of- age years between 2005 and 2009 when I was between 22 and 26. During these precious four years I was going out a minimum of once a week with my sister, friends, and boyfriends to all the Indie/hipster clubs, bars, house parties, art walks, and special invite-only events all over L.A.
I knew a lot of people I would run into. They were other scenesters who were regulars just like I was. Some were my friends from college. Others were my friends from Hollywood. It was during those years that I was coming of age with those closest to me. I was merely not part of the scene, but was among those “in the know” who was helping to carve it out. We were discovering life and savoring the newness of young adult independence. I knew the time would come when my “scene” would migrate and change. My social invitations would slow down as we started to drift away from each other with college graduation, careers, life changing moves, and other necessary adult goals. That time for me came in 2010. As we pursued other interests and obligations, I knew I would be going out alone if I would go out at all. Life would still be fun for me, just a more responsible kind of fun. Nothing would quite be the same as those formative years when we each had our finger on the pulse just being irresponsible, carefree, and living life with an innocent sense of self discovery and vigor that can never quite be recaptured.
I was recently discovering the app called Songza which selects playlists based on your mood and what you’re doing (it’s pretty cool and worth checking out). I perused the Indie playlists until I came across a mix called “On the Indie dancefloor The ’00s.” Every song I enjoyed on the dancefloor during 2005-2009 re-entered my life like a long lost friend. A flood of fond memories came rushing over me. I was young, happy, and alive once again. When MGMT’s “Kids” came on, I was suddenly transported back in time to 2009, dancing the night away at an L.A. house party to that song. I was one of those “party kids” who took other kids by the hand to enter our version of Never Never Land where we were stuck in a moment of fantasy. When Hot Chip’s “Over and Over” came on, I was taken back to an L.A. club feeling primal and sweaty with my sister and friends on the dancefloor laughing about boys. At the ripe age of 30, I don’t really feel like I qualify as being old enough to reminisce about when I used to feel alive, young, happy, and carefree. I feel as though the ‘noughts not ought to have come and gone so quickly. Do any of you have a time in your life accompanied by a musical soundtrack that reminds you of being young, happy, innocently worryfree and not burdened with the pressures of adulthood? Please share below 🙂